


Meant To Be

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-05-04
Updated: 2006-05-04
Packaged: 2019-01-19 23:30:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12420465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: Lily tells James she hates him, but she doesn't. One-shot.





	Meant To Be

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

"I hate you." 

How I regret saying those three little words while standing in the common room three weeks ago, after dinner. With those words, I saw James Potter break into a million pieces in front of my eyes. He tried to hide his hurt from me, to turn away and cover his rapidly filling hazel orbs, but he wasn't fast enough. I saw the first tear push out of his lids and down his cheek. 

"Goodbye, Lily Evans," he said, giving me one last look before disappearing into his dorm. 

I don't hate him. I love him. 

The past three weeks have been hell. I see James trying to joke with his friends, pretending life is fine as always, but his eyes betray his soul. After six years of pursuing me unabashedly, he has given up. And I hate myself for doing this to him. 

Sympathy has been taken from me. I am not allowed to have it anymore. Nobody knows how much it killed me to lie to the boy I've been in love with for two years. Remus, my old friend, refuses to speak to me. Sirius and Peter openly give me angry looks. Looks I wish could kill me, because then I wouldn't have to see the pain that I caused James. 

I did it because I am selfish. I couldn't bear to lose James; therefore I won't have him at all. 

At midnight, I crept into the empty common room. I sat myself on the seat nearest to the window and looked out into the dark night sky. The tiniest sliver of the moon was visible. The stars twinkling matched the tears running down my face. I covered my mouth as I sobbed uncontrollably. When I regained command over my breath, I whispered to my favorite star.

 "Andromeda, I love him. I love him." Seeing no one was around, even though I could have sworn I heard a rustle, I spoke in a normal tone. "I love James bloody Potter, and I can never tell him." 

James suddenly appeared, his eyes red and nose running. "Do you mean that, Lily?" He asked me. 

"Where the hell did you come from?" I was terrified. He had found out I loved him. "You can't Apparate inside Hogwarts!" 

He waved my question away. "Did you mean that?" James stepped closer to me, looking into my eyes. With him so close, I couldn't lie. I couldn't think even. All I wanted to do was to lay my head against his chest and stay there forever. 

"Yes, I meant it," I replied quietly. 

"Why did you tell me you hated me? Do you know the hell I've been going through? How could you lie to me like that?" He yelled, furious. 

"I--" He cut me off. 

"Lily Marie Evans, you lied to me," his voice was softer now, but harder. 

"I lied to you because I couldn't bear to lose you! I couldn't stand to have you and then lose you. I love you too much," I said, turning from him, wiping tears from my eyes. 

"Lily, Lily, look at me." He stepped towards me again, closing the physical gap between us. I obeyed, and he wrapped me in his arms, exactly as I had wanted for so long. I sobbed into his broad chest for a few minutes, and then stepped back, patting his shirt. 

"I'm so sorry, James, so sorry." I gazed into his large hazel eyes, seeing a joy in them I hadn't seen in three weeks.

 And then James Potter, the love of my life, kissed me full on the lips. It was then that I knew that no matter what happened, somehow, James and I would be together. I knew that I would rather be with him for a moment of pure bliss and live all eternity without him than to live without him at all. In that perfect kiss, I realized that this was how it was meant to be. 


End file.
